Governor Brown Bunny:
Indie Film's Bad Boy Makes the GOP a 'Gallo Old Party'
by Nathan Rabin
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Arnold Schwarzenegger's successful Gubernatorial run recently made headlines nation-wide, but the muscle-bound son of a Nazi isn't the only wildly unqualified Republican thespian making noise politically.

Grating provocateur Vincent Gallo, whom Roger Ebert unfavorably compared to watching his own colonoscopy, is too loudly proclaiming his allegiance to the G.O.P as often as possible - gushing in interviews over President Bush ("wonderful"), Richard Nixon ("I've always loved Richard Nixon"), Ronald Reagan (a "wonderful and classy hero") and New York governor George Pataki ("Underrated genius").

Could all this G.O.P ass-kissing be a way of prepping for an eventual move into politics? It's not as far-fetched as it seems. After all, the multi-talentless Gallo is pretty much the ultimate Republican, combining George W's oratorical genius and gift for subtlety with Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond's enlightened views on race.

Like Trent Lott and Ann Coulter, Gallo has made stunningly racist public statements. Like Condoleeza Rice, Gallo has called Kids screenwriter Harmony Korine a "mini-dwarf, faggot, date-raper". It's too early to tell if Gallo is planning on following his hero George Pataki into the Governor's mansion but a quick scan of his public statements at http://www.vincentgallo.com/writing illustrate that Gallo's views are very much in line with the Republican Party's. Below are some of his well-reasoned and eloquent takes on the issues of the day:

Government Subsidies for Airlines:
People are stinky and planes are stinky too, they're filled with disease.

Leisure Time
A vacation should be sitting in bed eating chips and dips, watching TV, and being massaged and blown by a robot - that's a vacation.

International Affairs
How much cheese, tobacco, caffeine, wine and sugar can one filthy, French person shove into their bodies in one day?

Marijuana Reform
Pot is bad. I don't like it. I don't like pot people. It's evil, and so are all the people who smoke it…

The War On Drugs
When I take over the world, the first thing I do is to put pot-smokers in a
room and tape them together…

Ethnic Pride
Just because my last name is Gallo and my parents are from Sicily, don't
think I relate to those monkeys…

His Proud Heritage
Real Italians are from Buffalo…

Los Angeles
If that sephartic (sic) Guy Osery (double sic) didn't live in LA, it really would be a perfect city…

New York's Storied Past
What happened to New York? Remember the old days when a girl like Connecticut Chloe Sevigny would be lucky to blow for a living? David LaChapelle was just an average, purse-snatching, faggot busboy, coke-whore, cleaning up Studio 54?

The Counterculture
I hate hippies, especially pot smoking hippies. Marijuana and socialism were the evils of the twentieth century.

Veterans
Why isn't the Veterans Day parade down fifth avenue? The people who secure our nation get a couple blocks in Brooklyn while the fags and spics get Fifth Avenue.

People With Disabilities
"Let's talk about how ridiculous handicap parking is."

Vincent Gallo
The best interview of Vincent Gallo was done by Vincent Gallo. The best articles about Vincent Gallo were written by Vincent Gallo, the best acting performance of Vincent Gallo was directed and edited by Vincent Gallo from a screenplay written by Vincent Gallo, even the best photographs of Vincent Gallo were taken by Vincent Gallo